Relationships, especially with our most intimate partners, can be difficult, frustrating, and disappointing. We meet someone who lights up our life, kindles the fire within us, and then we get intimately involved. Soon afterward, weeks, months or perhaps a few years, the fire seems to die down, we take a good look at who this other person is, and perhaps we don't like what we see.
It doesn't have to be like that. Relationships are actually a work in progress. But the easy part seems to be at the very beginning, in the heat of desire and lust and craving, when we see our partner with rose colored vision. We love what we see and we downplay what we don't want to see.
The second easy part of a relationship happens after two people have been together for a very long time. If their relationship endures despite many hardships, seemingly insurmountable conflicts, betrayals, infidelities, hurts, painful experiences, and even abuse, and the couple has managed to improve their communication and rekindle the romantic love, then there is a peaceful sense of comfort, ease and undying love.
But what happens in the middle phase, the time between the very beginning and the later years? This is where the term "long-suffering" wife or husband comes into play. Every relationship inevitably must face some deeply painful and trying times where suffering is all that seems to exist.
What does it take to persevere, to overcome, and to rise above the difficult and trying times? What does it take for a relationship to survive the test of time - and thrive - with love continuing to grow and deepen?
Research in economics and business teaches us what it takes to maintain motivation and drive on the way to success. Relationships work the same way. They require motivation and drive to succeed. The questions are:
* How do we elicit that drive and motivation and desire from our partner of many years?
* How do we maintain that drive and motivation within our own self?
The simple solution, but not very easy to accomplish, is to create a sense of flow in your relationship. This takes maintaining a purpose for your relationship, having the ability to persevere through tough times and the skill to deal with problems as they arise.
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